This move is a work in progress and most of it has already happened. As we have learned in the last several months plans are subject to change at the drop of a hat and we should always be prepared with a Plan B, C, D, and E and so on. This story will be separated into segments for the sake of length. There is much that has happened and much more to be learned. Each “BUMP” in the road is a story in and of its self and has been shortened so you get a glimpse into each major event that has made this move more than unusual. Many of these BUMPS are deserving of their own BLOGS and will be posted at a later date with more detail. It is my intent that by sharing this story, you will come away with a broader perspective of any situation you encounter and a sense of hope that no problem is as insurmountable as it may seem.
It is currently July 23st and the original moving date to leave Arizona was June 26th. Phase 1, the move of 99% of the household belongings left in the U-Haul on June 29th. All other phases are subject to whatever craziness may arise! The new scheduled moving date for Phase 2 of the move, me traveling across the country with a truck pulling a car, two dogs and two sedated cats is scheduled for July 29th, and on August 1st, Phase 3 - Ross and Cecil arrive in OHIO, will be complete. We don’t really know how many phases there will be since random events keep dragging out the long awaited day. So stay tuned and follow along with the craziest journey I’ve ever lived called THE ARIZONA PROJECT
Cast of Characters:
Me
Mom
Ross and Cecil – brother and brother in law
Jill and Jed - oldest sister and brother in law
Betty – the middle sibling
Others will be introduced throughout the story.
For those who know me and have followed me on Face book this last 7 months has been described as "unbelievable", "ridiculous", "a nightmare", "God's test", "a roller coaster", "bumps in the road" and a multitude of other descriptors. Regardless of the word used to describe it, the events of the last 7 months have been quite frustrating, downright damn annoying and often challenging to the point of near breakdown. All of these "bumps" have affected us emotionally, physically, spiritually and any other "ally" you can think of, which I suppose is how we are to learn and grow. For all the negatives this year has brought my family thus far, there are also many positives that we’ve been able to take from it and it has made us stronger.
For the sake of time, I'll start at Christmas of this past year when "the move" became official. Ross and Cecil decided they were moving back to Ohio and actually put a bid in on a house. It was one of the best days our mother had experienced in a long time. Ross had moved to Arizona 23 years prior and mom and my sisters had been asking him ever since then "when are you moving back"? Finally it was happening; Ross would be back just like mom wanted.
Ross and Cecil went back to Arizona after Christmas to start preparing to move to Ohio.
BUMP # 1
Mom was admitted to the hospital with a diagnosis of pneumonia. Having recently been diagnosed with lung cancer and successfully undergoing chemo treatments to shrink the cancerous tumors, this was quite the devastating blow for all of us. We were faced with the option of putting mom on a ventilator for a few days. The medical staff wanted mom’s body to be able to focus on healing, not on working so hard to breathe so it was only to assist her and keep her other functions flowing smoothly. Given mom’s age, medical history of respiratory issues and recent lung cancer diagnosis and overall health, she was given around a 50% chance of coming off the ventilator without complications. When trying to weigh the odds of doing a procedure like this or not, being given a 50/50 chance sure doesn’t help in the decision making process but Mom made her decision and wanted to try it.
Ross had asked if he should come back, if Mom’s condition was that serious. While it was serious, I felt in my heart that mom was going to be ok through this. Mom was a trooper and successfully overcame the less than hopeful odds of coming off the ventilator. Within ½ an hour of them removing the tube, she was actually talking and wanted some food. The Nurses were quite stunned, but elated that mom had done so well. There is a 48 hour precaution window after someone in mom’s condition comes off the ventilator. This window had passed and mom had no complications at all. The next several days found mom actually recovering from her pneumonia and progressing beyond anyones expectations. WHEW, we successfully made it over BUMP # 1.
A few sub bumps occurred during bump 1: the day after mom went in the hospital my oldest sister Jill was admitted to the hospital with chest pains and ended up having a double bypass operation. Also, the day after Jill was admitted to a different hospital than mom, her husband Jed was admitted to the hospital for circulation problems with his legs. This was all a part of Bump # 1 that my middle sister, Betty and I had to deal with. Trying to coordinate work, our own households, visiting 3 patients in two different hospitals AND trying to hide from mom the fact that her daughter and son in law were also in the hospital with major medical problems was becoming quite challenging.
Many years ago my family had decided that whenever ANYTHING happens to one of us, we would tell the others even if we did not have a concrete diagnosis or answers. This was one of those times we had to reassess that agreement. Telling mom about Jill and Jed would certainly have impeded her own recovery so we decided it was just best to keep it from her. Mom would occasionally ask where Jed and Jill were and why they weren’t visiting her. As tempted as I was to tell her they had been there and that her medication was just making her forget, I decided to just avoid it and say they would be up later or weren't feeling well. This was a very hard secret to keep. Knowing that mom was wondering why they hadn’t been to visit, we still felt it was in her best interest not to know. When Jill was able, she called mom and and told her that she thought she had a cold and didnt want to risk bringing germs into the hospital. It was the perfect lie!
In the days to come Mom had improved so much that she got to move out of the Intensive Care Unit and into a regular room where she was able to receive visits from my Certified Therapy Dog Riley. I think Mom was even a little jealous when others would come into the room to pay attention to Riley and ask if she could visit thier family members rooms when I was done.
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| Mom and Riley |
Mom was progressing, Jed and Jill were out of the hospital and Ross and Cecil were moving forward with plans to sell their Arizona house and move to Ohio. Betty and I were relieved that life showed a glimpse of getting back to normal. This is when Bump # 2 came along.
Positives about Phase #1
A) My family learned that we could survive a lot more random chaos than expected.
B) I personally learned that my mom had a strength I had never seen in her before; the strength to believe that she could beat the odds.
C) I also learned that I was stronger than I had previously given myself credit for. It was a difficult trying to manage what Betty and I had to manage but we did it and did it successfully.
When you are the one having to be strong in a situation like this and try to hold everything together, make sure you give yourself credit for all of the “little accomplishments” to keep your spirits up. We all did our part to the best of our abilities. You don’t know how strong you are until you have to be.
Bump #2 to be posted 7/25/11
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